I Was An Addict... but God!
I struggled with substance abuse for 22 years.
I started drinking and using illegal drugs at a very young age.
I was in grade school when I took my first drink, 13 when I smoked my first cigarette and
by the age of 15, I was smoking marijuana, using LSD and cocaine.
Let me give you all a little backstory about me and why I justified living a life of chaos.
When I was 6 years old my biological father murdered my aunt, which was my mom’s sister.
He was sentenced to prison and sat 10 years before he was released.
He was not in my life growing up.
My mom remarried and we moved from Wyoming to Wisconsin.
At the age of 14, my mom and my stepdad separated.
They were talking about filing for a divorce.
He invited me to come stay with him one night and I declined.
I said I would see him the next day. I did, but I found him deceased under his car.
The jack was tipped over and the rotor came down on his neck.
The two father figures I had in life, I lost at a very young age and I was traumatized.
These two events caused me to seek out drugs and alcohol to numb my emotions and deal with the pain I felt.
I started going to rave parties and house parties every week and ended up dropping out of school when I was 17.
I got pregnant when I was 18, from a guy I had been dating in high school and ended up giving the child up for adoption two months after he was born in March of 1999.
I spent most of life as a teen on probation.
I had my 2nd offense OWI (Operating While Intoxicated) before the age of 21.
I was always in trouble for domestic abuse, battery and theft.
I lived my life jumping from party house to party house
I was always able to find a way to supply my drug habits.
Many times, it was through sex or theft.
By the time I was 27, I had my 4th offense OWI.
I spent 5 months in jail and I was sentenced to more probation.
I quickly became addicted to opiates after I was released from my jail sentence.
I continued using opiates, cocaine and various other drugs and alcohol
until 2011 when I was introduced to heroin and benzodiazepines.
I started mixing the two with large quantities of alcohol and
my life spiraled out of control faster than it ever had in the past.
I would wake up every day trying to find my next fix.
I had no job and I hadn’t worked in over 7 years, so I had to figure out how I was going to support my drug use.
I was able to lie and convince my family and the guy I had been dating for many years
to give me money more often than not.
I also stole computers and various other items from stores, robbed houses
and even had sex with men to obtain drugs or money.
There were some events during my life that were extremely traumatic
that led me down a deeper and darker path of destruction.
To name a few…
I had 2 abortions that haunted me for years.
I was sexually assaulted by 4 men.
I harbored 2 fugitives who murdered two people over a drug deal gone bad.
I watched my friends overdose in my car a number of times.
And I lost friends to overdose and suicide.
All of these things made me feel terrible inside
and to cope I continued to run from my problems
by going deeper into a dark hole filled with drugs and alcohol.
In 2012, I overdosed on heroin and almost died.
I ended up in the ER days later from dehydration and I told my mom that day I was an IV drug user.
She was able to convince me to go to rehab and I did.
I spent 11 days in treatment before I checked myself out and started using again.
I was introduced to meth sometime after that and began using both heroin and meth daily.
In 2013, I was arrested for my 5th offense OWI, possession of narcotics and paraphernalia.
I was bonded out of jail only to be arrested again for burglary, theft of moveable property, forgery and bail jumping.
In 2014, I was sentenced for the 5th offense
OWI, possession of narcotics, theft of moveable property and bail jumping.
The other charges were dismissed and I received a year in jail.
After being in jail for 2 months, a girl planted a seed in me about surrendering my life to Jesus.
After that, I began reading the Bible and doing Bible study.
I accepted Christ as my Savior in November of 2014 while I was in jail.
Not long after that, I lost the 3rd man I considered a father figure.
He passed away from alcoholism.
The last memory I had of of him was stealing his money to support my drug habit.
I never got to say goodbye.
I asked God for forgiveness and I asked Him to show me what I could do to help others.
I wanted to be a voice for all the friends and family that I had lost to addiction.
When I was released, I relapsed not once but a number of times.
I ended up contracting sepsis,
a deadly blood infection where I ended up in the hospital for two days and almost died.
I prayed to be delivered and the road was paved.
God delivered me in 2018 of all drugs, alcohol and nicotine a year later.
I have been clean for over 8 years now, by the grace of God.
Since my release from jail:
I made amends with my family,
got my license back,
got married,
bought a house,
bought a car,
was promoted to National Sales Director at Kingdom Come Home,
and I obtained my Substance Abuse Counselor Education Technical Diploma.
God not only changed my vision, but He changed my heart.
I have decided to dedicate my life to spreading the gospel
and helping the addicted, lost and the broken.
God uses everyone to fulfill His purpose.
You are never too broken or damaged.
Glory to God!
Hallelujah!
Commentary:
Thank you Grace for sharing such an incredible story that exemplifies God’s Grace
I’ve come to know you through a distance on X and I can tell that you are a Good Soul!
If you are seeing this and interested, give Grace a follow on X @hopedealergrace
I thought this song and video is very fitting for more examples of people saved by God’s Grace