It was a difficult time in my life, Every morning I would sit outside my home and wonder about life, I would always Thank God for his goodness, the children he has sent me, my home, my friends. Even though I was sad and lonely, I always prayed in thanksgiving to him.I had accepted being married to an unloving man for the sake of my children.I would watch other loving couples interact with each other and secretly yearned to be married to a loving man. I truly thought divorce was unattainable and not something I should ever think of. I attended mass, I was a Sunday bible school teacher, I raised my children in the catholic faith, I was taught to “carry my own cross”.
It was Palm Sunday, the week beginning Holy Week, it had been a car ride of yelling and screaming and I was tired of it all. Just distraught.At mass, before communion, the band started playing this song. ” I am the bread of life, whoever comes to me shall not hunger, whoever believes in me shall never thirst. I was so thirsty for peace, I was so thirsty for joy, hope and love.My life seemed a continual sadness and I didn’t want my kids to see their mom like this. My tears from suppressing so much for so many years started flowing in church that morning. I had so much pain living with an abusive man. I looked up at the large cross that hung over my head, I looked over at my children and at that moment I believed that nothing was impossible with our LORD. I believed he was the bread of life…I prayed so hard that hour in church, To be set free of this pain, to be set free of the abuse, the hurt, the betrayal, the brokenness. I continued to pray for days after.I was a stay at home mom, didn’t have any money for a lawyer, not sure how any of this would happen, but miracles just started happening. A new found freedom was being unveiled. I would meet a friend and she would give me the name of a lawyer who did not charge me a dime to start the proceeding, found a wonderful counselor who guided my and showed me I deserved more than what I was being shown.Each day I awoke to a new miracle.I enrolled in cosmetology school, I had friends and family that helped with after school care for my kids. Each day, I smiled more.Months later, I found a nice place to live, I was given support and love from strangers for the duration of my divorce. Nine months later, I graduated from a tough challenging program so proud of all I accomplished, my divorce proceedings were nearly over. I was moving out of a place of darkness and into the LIFE that only Jesus my True Lord and Savior could ever have given me. God’s timing is never late. I am forever grateful. I will never stop praying. I have many more prayers I await with confidence.HE HEARS YOU> He meets you at your brokenness, he wipes away all of your tears and in him, we find LIFE. Life the way God intended us to live. Jesus taught us how to pray. It is found in Luke Chapter 11.
Dear God,You are the only reason I’ve made it this far.At my lowest you are my hope.At my darkest you are my light.At my weakest you are my strengthAt my saddest, you are my comforter.I pray not because I need something, butbecause I have a lot to thank you for.I am forever grateful.In Jesus name I pray.AMEN
I sang this song the whole time of my divorce.
Warmly, Josephine
Warmly, Josephine