Spanish Link: Versión en Español
If you’re struggling with the loss of someone you love, this post offers comfort, hope, and a different way to see death — knowing that love never really dies… it just changes form.
Inspired – July 2, 2023
With Love,
It is my intention that my story and 12 year struggle will help you.
In Loving Memory of My Mother
I was blessed to have the best Mother I could have asked for.
She was loving and caring. She was well-liked by everyone who knew her. She tried to learn something new every day. She never tried to be the center of attention. She loved her kids and grandkids as much as anyone is capable of loving another. She had quality friendships, and the people lucky enough to know her held her in high regard.
How She Passed
She was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer that had already spread to several organs. She suffered greatly through chemotherapy. Her organs began shutting down and she became severely bloated. The doctors scheduled surgery to place a stent in her pancreatic duct because a tumor in her liver was pinching it.
After the surgery, she went into a coma and her kidneys started shutting down.
The Biggest Regret of My Life
Before the surgery, my Mom knew this was the end. She tried to say goodbye to me. I wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t have faith in God or Heaven at the time. I believed we are the most powerful healers, so I kept telling her she would be fine and to stay positive.
She had so much grace that she let me have the last word.
She went into a coma and never regained consciousness. My sister and I had to make the longest walk of our lives down that hospital hallway to sign the papers to take her off life support.
I couldn’t process the loss or the guilt.
For many years I spoke of her “death.” Today I prefer to say she “passed.” Because I now know she didn’t truly die — she simply changed form and went home.
Back to My Mom and Her Effect on Me
My Mom was a teenager when I was born. She had faith in God, but my Dad was agnostic/atheist and taught me Darwinism. She tried to take me to Sunday school, but I was difficult and my Dad offered no support, so she eventually stopped pushing.
As a result, I grew up without faith in God. I went to college, earned a technical degree, and believed in Darwinism.
However, my Mom raised me with Christian values and planted seeds that would last forever. Whenever I was disappointed, she would softly say:
“Things always happen for a reason” and “Things always have a way of working out for the best.”
Which I now know is Romans 8:28.
Now I realize she was right. Thank you, Mom.
As time went on and I looked back on my disappointments, I could see there was always a reason — and I was better off because of it.
Even though I didn’t believe in God, God believed in me.
My Mom was my only source of unconditional love. When she died, and without faith, it crushed me. I struggled with depression for years.
Six years after her death, I found myself in the middle of a horrible divorce. Really bad things happened. During my divorce, I was wrongfully arrested. I felt so much unfairness and frustration. To protect my daughter from having to testify, I followed my lawyer’s advice and took a plea bargain. I had to move out of my house and away from my children — whom I love dearly — and attend an Anger Management class.
I had hit rock bottom.
This was part of a 12-year journey — the first 6 years leading up to the divorce and rock bottom, followed by another 6 years of coming to faith, growing in faith, healing, and finally finding peace.
Even though I didn’t have faith in God, I still wanted to believe. I just couldn’t get past the lies I grew up believing. I needed proof — I was a doubting Thomas.
My awakening story of how I came to know God is real, Link: Testimony
The Point of This Message
Without God, death feels real and final — with no hope. When it happens to someone you love, there is no way to process it.
Jesus said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
After growing in faith for a while, I came across this powerful video of Penny’s Near Death Experience. It gave me great peace and comfort.
I truly hope it helps you as well:
My practical example of ROMANS 8:28:
At my Mom’s funeral; I was alone saying goodbye to my Mom as she lie in the Coffin. I was strongly compelled to touch her hand. This is something I’ve never done or even considered doing. In less than a second, it immediately disgusted me. I knew in an instant that this was not my Mom. It further depressed me at the time and I wished I hadn’t done it. I was an embarrassing inconsolable mess during the service.
But it turned out, 10 or more years later, to be a good thing that I touched the hand of the body she used to reside in.
I had the experience to draw on to know that she had left her body.
Nurse Penny’s video was the final piece I needed.
Now, I know without any doubt that my Mom didn’t die. She just changed form and is home with other Loved ones.
This video spoke to me.
I’ve watched others from the channel “The Other Side NDE”.
Each person has a different story, but they all have some things in common: The people are all Calm, Joyful and Confident. They are brave to tell their stories and it doesn’t seem to matter to them if you believe them or not, they know it to be true.
I recommend that you scroll through the videos on this channel and allow yourself to be guided to the one that is right for you. Don’t overthink it, just scroll and allow yourself to be guided. One will attract you more than others, choose that one.
Nurse Penny’s Near Death Experience video was the final piece I needed.
Two powerful truths stood out to me:
- God exists within us — in what experts often call “Junk DNA”.
- Energy can’t die. It just changes form.
These insights brought me great peace and comfort.
My deepest hope is that this post helps you find the same comfort I now have —
the comforting knowledge that this life is not the final step.
Back to Mom:
I miss you Mom, but I can now process it all.
I have Joy now.
I Love you Always Mom!
My intention is that this sets you free and helps you find joy.
Faith. Love. Grace. These three words are all anyone needs to live by. Thanks for sharing
That was powerful to watch video and to understand what you went through with your mom and some episodes of your life.
You are loved
This is such a beautiful testimony of the ultimate love. Thank you so much for sharing this.